why does a twelve year old run away from home?

i worry that this blog sees too much of the dark "underbelly" of life, that i report on the failures and mistakes a little to often. I make a pledge that after this one i will resist the urge to write about the trauma and abuse I have way to much to do with.

let me paint a picture: a loving family has migrated from Europe. The parents already have two boys but are yearning for a baby girl. They got the opportunity to adopt a beautiful baby girl when their own boys were around nine and ten years old. The next thing we know our beautiful baby girl has become "uncontrollable." She is angry and anxious and keeps running away. Her parents who love her dearly cannot fathom her behavior. They cannot make sense of this distress when they and the boys love the little girl and care for her. Eventually she was made a ward of the state and sent to a "training" centre for uncontrollable juveniles. Once it was suggested she return home, but she screamed ran away and became so violent she never was returned. No one could figure out why this had happened.

The cause is almost comical it is so obvious in hindsight. No one questioned why a seventeen year old boy would wish to shower his sister. No-one noticed that the door was locked. No one else knew that bath toys were used to "loosen her up" until she was seven when full sexual intercourse took place.

That was the start of a life easy to imagine. Drug abuse, parenting problems, ongoing conflict and only recently a criminal offence related to violence. Hopefully she will be forced to seek treatment and hopefully things will improve.

I wonder if this could possibly happen in 2011. Do we know enough now to ask why? Do we not assume that our beautiful loved boy could do something horrible if not watched? These days do we watch a little closer and ask a bit more? My God I hope so.