today i wondered into a well known department store and made my way to the line for the cash registers. i stood staring into space when i became aware of a three year old tantrum happening in the line next to me. the little girl was screaming and crying and demanding the lollies so thoughtfully placed near the queue. her parents were responding with "stop it," "you are embarrassing" and "you'll get nothing if you keep this up." this persisted for as long as it took to process through five or so people and the kid kept going and so did the parents. i looked away because the parents were obviously becoming very embarrassed. next time i looked, surprise surprise, the kid had a lollie in her mouth and was- "suddenly"- not crying.
why oh why? how did they think it was a good thing to do? why couldn't they just cop the embarrassment of a crying kid and tough it out?
they broke two of the most important rules of parenting little kids: never never give in to a tantrum. it only teaches the kid to persist a little longer each time, because the kid figures out that eventually they, that is; the parent's will break. And, never threaten a punishment you have no intention of handing out. The "you'll get nothing..." line was never going to happen and that was obvious to everyone, even the kid. all that taught was that the kid doesn't have to take her parent's seriously, and she obviously doesn't.
i want to get this message to every parent:
NEVER MAKE THREATS YOU DON'T MEAN TO CARRY OUT, AND NEVER REWARD TANTRUMS WITH TREATS. NEVER, EVER EVER. (if i sound a little frustrated it is because i am)
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