oops i've done it again.

I found this post this arvo under "drafts." not sure why it didn't get published back in May but I figured it can send it off into the world now. Better late than never...

hi world, its been such a long time I'm not sure anyone is out there anymore. i figured it was time to produce some more observations about the practice, my practice and experiences with therapy.


so i was caught again. i had spent a lot of time with a man who was referred to me for "anger management." he presented well. he was reasonable and calm and seeking help for his alcohol dependent wife. over a couple of sessions he brought in text messages and hand written notes produced by his wife. all were out of control shrieking, screaming, and swearing. we worked for many months on how to manage the family. the children were at risk because of violence and mum's drinking. amazingly neither parent was prepared to move out to keep the children away from the violence. unsurprisingly the situation just deteriorated. the father brought in (to show me) injectable pethadine prescribed by a local doctor for his wife. one of the children began to self harm. things just got further and further out of control.

as had happened in the past things just "settled down." the dad claimed he had learned to better manage his wayward wife and didn't need to leave after all. he eventually stopped counselling having learned as much as he needed to manage his family and avoid any further violence.

well! what a surprise when mum referred the oldest, self harming daughter. She had been given a completely wrong diagnosis (but I'll leave that for another post) but shed a lot of different light on the family. she painted a picture where dad really is violent, takes drugs, and keeps the arguments going when every one else has given up.

again i am struck by the way that two different people can provide two totally different pictures of the same family. also by how two different likable, reasonable people can tell such a different story without any hint of not telling the truth. neither seem to be telling lies but probably just not entirely the truth. it is after all almost always somewhere in between. i just need to be reminded of this age old pattern of therapy every now and again.